Primary school (reception) party dilhemma

[M&S]

Now, I'm famous for fab parties (especially the party bags) within James'
group of friends and I always plan early.

What happens now they're at school? DH says now is the time to cut back and
just have a select group that he chooses. Other friends say I should invite
the whole class.

James is in a year of 45 kids. 30 in his registration class and 15 that will
be with him after registration etc. (don't really understand these split
years yet).

I want to invite 45 - DH says no. So I try for 30 - he's still not having
it.

What is the etiquette here? We haven't really got long enough to see what
the others do as he is an early birthday. I would hate for him to miss out
on other people's party. DH says we do not want to spend every weekend at a
party (but I'm prepared to do it if it means he has lots of friends!).

Your advice will be gratefully received (hopefully I will win this!).

S (Mum to James 4 3/4)

[Mary Ann]

Post by M&S
Now, I'm famous for fab parties (especially the party bags) within James'
group of friends and I always plan early.
What happens now they're at school? DH says now is the time to cut back and
just have a select group that he chooses. Other friends say I should invite
the whole class.
James is in a year of 45 kids. 30 in his registration class and 15 that will
be with him after registration etc. (don't really understand these split
years yet).
I want to invite 45 - DH says no. So I try for 30 - he's still not having
it.
What is the etiquette here? We haven't really got long enough to see what
the others do as he is an early birthday. I would hate for him to miss out
on other people's party. DH says we do not want to spend every weekend at a
party (but I'm prepared to do it if it means he has lots of friends!).
Your advice will be gratefully received (hopefully I will win this!).
S (Mum to James 4 3/4)

IME, anything goes. DS has been to parties where everyone has been
invited (though this is only 30 odd) and others with only a few
friends. I would think it might be unusual to invite the whole year
group. I think etiquette dictates that whatever you do decide to do
you do it well. What does James want to do? Also, don't assume that
because you invite 45 children to your son's party that he will get
invited to all theirs, or that he will have more friends. It starts to
become more about the children than the parents as they get a bit
older.

Mary Ann

[G Hardy]

Post by M&S
I want to invite 45 - DH says no. So I try for 30 - he's still not having
it.

Work out how much you want to spend, then work back from there. Either
invite everyone and scale down the party, or invite a select few and
maintaining your usual standard.

I'm quite lucky in that we're not part of the "social circle" of parents, so
we feel no pressure of one-upmanship and don't compare the "scale" of
presents or parties to make sure we're investing as much into other peoples'
kids as they do into ours.

[Penny Gaines]

Post by M&S
Now, I'm famous for fab parties (especially the party bags) within James'
group of friends and I always plan early.
What happens now they're at school? DH says now is the time to cut back and
just have a select group that he chooses. Other friends say I should invite
the whole class.
James is in a year of 45 kids. 30 in his registration class and 15 that will
be with him after registration etc. (don't really understand these split
years yet).
I want to invite 45 - DH says no. So I try for 30 - he's still not having
it.
What is the etiquette here? We haven't really got long enough to see what
the others do as he is an early birthday. I would hate for him to miss out
on other people's party. DH says we do not want to spend every weekend at a
party (but I'm prepared to do it if it means he has lots of friends!).
Your advice will be gratefully received (hopefully I will win this!).

First thought - do you really want to have a party for 45 4-5yos? Or do
you want to avoid excluding some children, which means you have to
invite 45?

I think the most we've invited is about twenty, and that was plenty. If
you invite more, then you will need more adults to help.

[Welches]

Post by M&S
Now, I'm famous for fab parties (especially the party bags) within James'
group of friends and I always plan early.
What happens now they're at school? DH says now is the time to cut back
and just have a select group that he chooses. Other friends say I should
invite the whole class.
James is in a year of 45 kids. 30 in his registration class and 15 that
will be with him after registration etc. (don't really understand these
split years yet).
I want to invite 45 - DH says no. So I try for 30 - he's still not having
it.
What is the etiquette here? We haven't really got long enough to see what
the others do as he is an early birthday. I would hate for him to miss out
on other people's party. DH says we do not want to spend every weekend at
a party (but I'm prepared to do it if it means he has lots of friends!).
Your advice will be gratefully received (hopefully I will win this!).
S (Mum to James 4 3/4)

#1 has not been to any parties where everyone was invited from her class. I
think we had one of the biggest this year (year 1) when we invited just over
20. I think that if one person did invite everyone it would look rather
pretentious-just because no one does, I'm not saying that it is/you are.
In my experience he won't miss out on a party. There isn't much corellation
between whose party they go to and who they invited.
And believe me you won't want 45 5 and 6 yos next year-20 was plenty
(actually too many!)
Aso consider how many adults you will have. By reception year, most parents
will go leaving their child and you need a reasonable adult to child ratio.
Ideally I'd say about 1 adult to about 6-8 children. (Jonny wants his mummy
and needs an adult with him all the time, Jane needs the toilet every 5
minutes, and wonn't go on her own, Jaime is pinching the sweets off the tops
of the cakes if the tea is left unsupervised...etc.)
Round here (I don't know if this is standard country wide) reception will
generally invite 10-20 children (a few of whom will probably not be school
friends eg cousins) and go to an indoor adventure play place which will do
chicken nuggets and chips to eat and a party bag at the end.
If you're really worried ask someone-the teacher probably has a reasonable
idea if you don't know the parents well enough.
Debbie

[Clare]

Post by M&S
Now, I'm famous for fab parties (especially the party bags) within James'
group of friends and I always plan early.
What happens now they're at school? DH says now is the time to cut back
and just have a select group that he chooses. Other friends say I should
invite the whole class.
James is in a year of 45 kids. 30 in his registration class and 15 that
will be with him after registration etc. (don't really understand these
split years yet).
I want to invite 45 - DH says no. So I try for 30 - he's still not having
it.
What is the etiquette here? We haven't really got long enough to see what
the others do as he is an early birthday. I would hate for him to miss out
on other people's party. DH says we do not want to spend every weekend at
a party (but I'm prepared to do it if it means he has lots of friends!).
Your advice will be gratefully received (hopefully I will win this!).
S (Mum to James 4 3/4)

I've been to parties with 30+ 5 year olds and boy are they noisey.

Sounds like you have mixed year classes like we have. At our school, class
one is all of the Year R children and about half of the Year 1s, class two
is the other half of year 1 and all of year 2 etc

Anyway, when DD started I just invited the children she was friendly with in
her year (her birthday was a few weeks after term started). This year it was
all her choice so we had mostly year 1s, a few year Rs and a one or two year
2's.

DS's bday is 1 Sept so before terms starts. He'll have pre-school friends
and few of the new year 1's as he was at pre-school with them but they
started in Jan (he missed out by 12 hours!). There are only 5 other children
starting with him in Sept - just trying to decide whether to invite them or
not. He has already struck up a friendship with one of the boys as we see
him at the school gate.

love
Clare

[M&S]

Thanks everyone. Mind made up. I will invite a smaller group and just live
with the fact that this is how it will be.

I just hate leaving people out and remember what it felt like not to be
invited to a party - but DS probably won't even notice.

We had 26 last year (but 2 party entertainers to keep them in line) - but
I'd forgotten that they might actually leave their children with me and go
home!!!! Arrggghhh!

12-18 for the go-kart party it is:-)

S (mum to James 4.75)

Post by M&S
Now, I'm famous for fab parties (especially the party bags) within James'
group of friends and I always plan early.
What happens now they're at school? DH says now is the time to cut back
and just have a select group that he chooses. Other friends say I should
invite the whole class.
James is in a year of 45 kids. 30 in his registration class and 15 that
will be with him after registration etc. (don't really understand these
split years yet).
I want to invite 45 - DH says no. So I try for 30 - he's still not having
it.
What is the etiquette here? We haven't really got long enough to see what
the others do as he is an early birthday. I would hate for him to miss out
on other people's party. DH says we do not want to spend every weekend at
a party (but I'm prepared to do it if it means he has lots of friends!).
Your advice will be gratefully received (hopefully I will win this!).
S (Mum to James 4 3/4)

[Mary Ann]

Post by M&S
Thanks everyone. Mind made up. I will invite a smaller group and just live
with the fact that this is how it will be.
I just hate leaving people out and remember what it felt like not to be
invited to a party - but DS probably won't even notice.

If he's anything like my DS (and the boys in his gang) I think this is
true.

Post by M&S
We had 26 last year (but 2 party entertainers to keep them in line) - but
I'd forgotten that they might actually leave their children with me and go
home!!!! Arrggghhh!

Personally I prefer it when the parents don't stay. Maybe I am a
control freak!

Post by M&S
12-18 for the go-kart party it is:-)

Oh, they'll love that!

Mary Ann

Post by M&S
S (mum to James 4.75)

Post by M&S
Now, I'm famous for fab parties (especially the party bags) within James'
group of friends and I always plan early.
What happens now they're at school? DH says now is the time to cut back
and just have a select group that he chooses. Other friends say I should
invite the whole class.
James is in a year of 45 kids. 30 in his registration class and 15 that
will be with him after registration etc. (don't really understand these
split years yet).
I want to invite 45 - DH says no. So I try for 30 - he's still not having
it.
What is the etiquette here? We haven't really got long enough to see what
the others do as he is an early birthday. I would hate for him to miss out
on other people's party. DH says we do not want to spend every weekend at
a party (but I'm prepared to do it if it means he has lots of friends!).
Your advice will be gratefully received (hopefully I will win this!).
S (Mum to James 4 3/4)- Hide quoted text -

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